Battleship…

Where to begin with Battleship?

The good:

The bad:

  • If you hate disaster porn you’ll hate this film.
  • The aliens are an impressive mix of intelligent and retarded because they have some amazing technology, but they don’t bother to use it for quite obvious purposes, that would make them pretty much invincible. Lucky the human race is only ever invaded by amazingly advanced idiots.
  • The link into the Hasbro game Battleships is really ham-fisted. It’s not even similar to the game, which makes it even more embarrassing.
  • The film really needs an edit that can be shown outside the USA. There is about 10 minutes of footage that makes me want to vomit and quite frankly ruins the whole film. It makes Independence Day* feel like a multi-national experience in comparison. The fact that this is mandatory in Hollywood films kinda suggests it works will with the US audiences, so it probably pays to include it. I guess if the UK had any kind of film industry we would probably be just as bad, but since we can only make period dramas and east-end gangster films, we don’t get the opportunity to be quite so sickening. If this crap had been edited out I would have enjoyed the film sooooo much more.
  • It is so full of gaping holes you would think it was a Michael Bay film.

If you follow the blog you know that I go to some pretty awful films and enjoy quite a few of them. A little bit of editing and I would have come away saying very positive things. As it is, I’m so mentally scarred by the “Team USA” message, my overall impression was that it sucked.

Cheers

Tim…

* OMG, what a terrible film!

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