All completely crap stories must come to an end, and so we come to the last in the massive pile of toilet that is The Twilight Saga:
Since I’m not the target audience, I decided to go for a later showing to avoid the hormonal pre-teens. The adverts before the film let you know what you are in for. It’s a mix of lipstick and feminine hygiene products. Then the film starts…
To put it politely, it just drones on… I was convinced by my mate’s 12 year old daughter than Bella is meant to be crap all the way through, because when she turns into a Vampire she suddenly becomes awesome! That didn’t happen.
Eventually, just before you start gnawing at your own wrists wanting to die, a fight scene starts. Pretty early on in this scene some key members of the cast die and it sparks your attention, making you think that finally you will see something worth seeing. Then it turns out none of it really happened and it was a Bobby Ewing moment.
After a bit of cheesy crap it finally ends and you know you will never have to witness such a complete pile of steaming crap ever gain.
Stephenie Meyer should be thoroughly ashamed of herself, that she has been part of an insidious attempt to destroy all that is great about vampire and werewolf films!
I was looking forward to seeing this film so I could close the circle of hatred and I’m glad to say it didn’t disappoint. It is truly, heart-stoppingly terrible.
PS. In case I didn’t mention it, it’s really bad!