Top 3 Nutters OOW2013

If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the last 8 visits to OpenWorld, it’s that San Francisco has the highest calibre of nutters walking the streets compared to anywhere else I’ve visited. To celebrate this fact I will present my top 3 nutters of OOW2013.

3) A solid third place goes to the guy who yesterday morning screamed, “I’m going to rip your fuckin’ eyes out of your head!”. I’m not sure what I did to solicit this response, but I would like to thank him for making me feel welcome in this great city. I am most appreciative of the fact he didn’t actually attempt to rip my eyes out!

2) Jumping straight into second place this morning comes an apparently normal woman, who as she walked past me was motivated to say, “What a waste. I wish nothing but horrible things for you. I hope you get shot in the face!” In a country where access to guns is so easy, it’s reassuring to know that their careful and considerate use is top most in people’s minds.

1) Taking an early lead and still holding off the competition was the beggar that followed me into a diner, sat down next to me and continued to harass me until he was forcibly removed by the diner staff. His persistence and odour were the perfect start to my breakfast at 03:00 on my first morning in San Francisco. I salute you!

Cheers

Tim…

PS. I’ve always liked San Francisco and I’ve always felt quite at home here, but it’s worth preparing yourself for some of the more interesting types you will meet. :)

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